Pennsylvania Family Law and Divorce
Lisa Marie Vari & Associates, P.C.

Keeping the Kids Out of the Middle of a Pennsylvania Divorce

By: Jamie Spero

While fighting over who gets to keep which set of fine china, some couples do not realize the impact their actions and words have on children during a Pennsylvania divorce. Even in divorces that are overall pretty friendly, children are impacted by the change. It's hard enough for a kid to deal with the drastic change of having parents divorce and this is even tougher for them when their parents are the ones acting like children. In today's blog, your Allegheny County Divorce Lawyers provide parents with some suggestions for making the process as easy as possible for their children.

When it is time to say goodbye to your spouse, remember the kids. Even well-intentioned parents sometimes do not even realize they are harming their children by certain things they do. There are some things divorcing spouses do that they may not realize causes damage to their children. The first is not being polite and civil with their ex during any interactions and custody exchanges, and the second is turning their children into personal therapists or confidants.

We know that your ex may be the last person in the world you want to see. But guess what, you are stuck with him or her at least until your child turns 18, and probably even longer. That means that you have to put on your big boy or big girl pants and play nice. You don't need to pretend to be best friends with your ex, but at the very least you need to be respectful and courteous. Smile, say hello, thank you, etc. You don't need to do any grand gestures, but just simply be nice for the sake of your children. Kids can sense tension, so if you feel uncomfortable and are just ignoring your ex, your kids will no doubt notice. So all you have to do is be polite and respectful for those 5 minute exchanges. Do it for your kids.

Many parents in the midst of a PA divorce often turn their children into confidants. Don't let yourself do this. This is not healthy for you and even unhealthier for your children. You need to let your children be children. Don't talk to them about what a jerk their father is and don't let them overhear you talking to your friends about this. If you need to vent, hire a babysitter and go to someone else's home. Do everything in your power to keep your kids out of the problem.

If you are facing any child related issues as a result of a Western Pennsylvania Divorce, contact our Pittsburgh Divorce Lawyers. Our team at Lisa Marie Vari & Associates is here to help you and your children through the difficult and emotional process of a PA divorce. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.

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