If you’re like many of our clients, you probably swore to yourself that you would nevermarry again after your divorce. While the divorce process certainly leaves many bitter to the idea of a second marriage. Nevertheless, we frequently field calls from our former clients who are considering remarrying. So what is it about a second marriage that makes people think that they can get it right this time? Is it as simple as heeding lessons learned from the first time around?
Couples who find lasting love after re-marriage have attributed much of their success to the things they learned from their first marriage – for better or for worse. For example, many people say that they overlooked the value of their spouse in their first marriage, taking him or her for granted and assuming he or she would always be there. After going through a divorce, men and women say they learned just how fragile a marriage can be, and place a higher value on their marriage the second time around.
Many couples in second-time marriages point to not only changing the way they approach relationships, but changing the way they approach the rest of their lives. For example, if they were extremely reliant on their first spouse, they resolved to be more independent in their second marriage. After all, it is healthy for two adults to have their own independent passions and interests, overlapping to complement one another’s interests. In a second marriage, the partners are older, more mature, and have had more time to establish themselves as independent adults, so it’s easier for them to appreciate the importance of maintaining that independence in a marriage.
Perhaps most importantly, taking a second trip down the aisle means that you have experienced the intricacies of divorce and what it can mean financially. Prenuptial agreements are popular among second-marriages because the spouses-to-be have learned first-hand that it’s important to protect themselves and their families. Although prenuptial agreements are a good idea for any marriage, they are particularly important for second-marriages because many people are entering into the marriage with significantly more assets than their first and/or children from the first marriage that they want to provide for.
If you’ve been through a divorce and are considering getting married again, you should retain a knowledgeable attorney to draft a Prenuptial Agreement protecting your assets and your family. Given everything you’ve learned from your first marriage and going through the divorce process, it’s especially important to protect yourself the second time around.